Monday, February 23, 2009

Nikita's thesis statements:

1. It is very fulfilling to help others because:

     1)it makes everybody happy;

     2)makes you feel yourself important;

     3)others will help you.

2. Honesty is the most valuable trait of a friend’s character because:

     1)friend is the one you want to rely on;

     2)it is the basis of any relationship;

     3)it lets us to trust him/her all our thoughts.

3. Passing my degree has been my greatest achievement so far because:

     1)it shows who I am in this world;

     2)it is my own achievment;

     3)I've done a lot to achieve it.

4. My studies is the one thing that give me real satisfaction because:

     1)I'm getting more educatted;

     2)it helps me to explore our world;

     3)I feell my head filling with knowledges.

5. Using a computer is probably one of the most important skills for a     person nowadays because:

     1)technologies are developing very fast;

     2)all spheres of our life are connected with it;

     3)it really mekes our life easier.

6. Feeling competent about doing my job gives me confidence because:

     1)I know that nobody would do it better;

     2)I know that I won't do something wrong;

     3)it makes me understand that I am on the right place.

1 comment:

Natalia Eydelman said...

Nikita--

Thesis statements are formulated as a series of statements which should be parallel in form. See if this is the case with your Th st-t #1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Th st-t #3. Also, what's the meaning of "passing your degree"? Your point #1 is too general and sounds lofty; #2 and 3 are too close - I don't see how you can develop them separately.

Th st-t #4: point 3 expresses the result of doing something you mention in 1 and 2. Also, "knowledge" in E is uncountable and, as such, does not have a plural form.

Th st-t #5: why the fact that technologies develop very fast makes it one of the most important skills to acquire? Item 2 is too broad. Are the points arranged using some logical pattern: general to specific, for example?

Th st-t #6: it's altogether inspecific and vague. I can't see how it can be developed.

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