1. It is very fulfilling to help others because 1.it studies you to share, 2. you can find new friends, 3. you won’t be called heartless.4.if you don’t help others, then in a difficult situation nobody won’t help you
2. Honesty is the most valuable trait of a friend's character because 1. it develops friendship, 2. it helps friends to understand better each other, 3. there is no trust without honesty, so there is no .
3. Passing my degree has been my greatest achievement so far because 1. it is important trial for me, 2. it is essential for my future profession, 3. it is the result of the hard work.
4. My studies is the one thing that give me real satisfaction because 1. it is educational and amusing activity, 2. it is important and useful in my future life, 3it gives me an opportunity to communicate with people.
5. Using a computer is probably one of the most important skills for a person nowadays because 1. ways of communication 2. it helps people do some activities faster and more qualitative, 3. it gives a lot of opportunities for searching a huge number of information resources.
6. Feeling competent about doing my job gives me confidence because 1. I feel myself professional, 2. I will make my work attentively and accurately, 3. any unexpected thing cannot make me feel puzzled.
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3 comments:
Yana, I like all your thesis statements,each of them makes the topic of composition narrower. But there is one point in the second statement which is not clear enough to me. When you speak, that 'honesty is the most valuable trait of a friend's character because it develops friendship' what you mean? In which way honesty 'develops friendship'?
Ok.I think that real friend is honest friend.If there is a lie between friends, these are not friends.only real friend can say all the truth about you.so, this is what I meant.:)
Yana,
remember that parts of the thesis statement should be formulated using parallel structures. For example, in the 1st case if you said that helping others can TEACH you to share, then the other two elements should be formulated using the same structure, i.e., it helps you to find new friends and demonstrate what you are like. Point 4 is redundant as a part of the thesis statement - you need 3 elements;in addition, your 4th element is different in nature from the other 3 - it indicates the result of (not) doing smth you mention in the other 3 cases.
2. Using parallel structures is also your problem in 2, which also has the same problem as the first one - your third element is a conclusion from the other two.
3. What do you mean by "passing your degree"? What degree? Do you mean graduating from school? I think the first idea should be reformulated to make it more specific (why it was an important trial for you?). The order of points 2 and 3 should be changed to make your essay develop in general to specific pattern. Also, "hard work" does not need an article.
4. This Th St-t has the same problem as the first one, for example: the 3rd element is not parallel to the other two.
5. Same here with parallel structures. Also, point 1 is not complete "because ways of communication" what?; "helps to do [..] activities faster and *qualitative (WF)
6. Have a look at it and see if its parts are parallel:)
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